Bragging rights June 12, 2010

OMG! OMG! OMG!

I just sat down to read Thor’s end of year report card; and I quote;

“During Author’s Chair, a time when the children read their books to the group he is frequently a voice of support, saying “I like how you drew that picture” or “I noticed you worked really hard on that book”. His encouragement goes a long way in creating a classroom of caring, motivated learners.”

Holy moly. Trickle down. Since I can’t gush to him about how awesome that statement is, I had to do it here. OK. I’m good. Done being the proud parent. Thanks for putting up with it.

Celebrate good times! June 9, 2010

Come on! There’s a party going on right here, a celebration to last throughout the year.

Now I’m not the only one who will have that song stuck in my head for the day! Enjoy.

We had family meeting last night and when we got to contributions we talked about how we’ve being doing – and it was unanimously agreed that we’ve been doing well. My husband asked if we thought we could build on the work we’ve been doing for each contribution and Thor put his hand in the air (school trains them well) and suggested that if we’ve had a certain contribution, the next time we get it we do two things and the next time we do 3 etc. It was amazing, because even though Dad started the conversation Thor owned the idea and I’m hoping that this will help make him agreeable when it comes down to it.

So this morning Thor’s contribution was the washroom and we talked about what that next thing was that he wanted to do and then on his own he decided what he wanted to do in the morning before breakfast and what he wanted to do in th afternoon before dinner. It was a great moment and SO peaceful.

(aside: I’m in the car waiting, Talula just came out and here comes Thor wearing his soccer socks pulled all the way up; and being soccer socks they are so long that it looks like he’s wearing stockings under his shorts. Cute.)

Two nights ago Vicki talked about the summer routine – and I am looking forward to summer. I have been thinking about starting back at the beginning this summer, and I think I will right after my parents visit is over and we get back from out first road trip. I quite sure I don’t have the gumption to DNSN with Granny and Papa around. So in a month or so I will be back freaking out about the state of our house. But summer time seems like a good time to let everything go down the tube for a few days.

Here’s an example of why I love PonT April 29, 2010

(Parenting on Track)

Thor has his first ever t-ball practice this evening. First ever and he’s excited. He just came TO ME and asked “what do I need to pack for t-ball”. Ooops. I hadn’t even given it any thought, which probably meant that we would have been scrambling on our way out the door and I would have grabbed his bat and glove in the frenzy.

Thanks to him, we have now had the conversation, he is now looking for something appropriate to wear because he hasn’t been given a uniform and now it is his responsibility to remember his glove and bat. Love him and love Parenting on Track.

SUCH a good week April 27, 2010

The school vacation is over, and I would have to say that we had a great week – all around, inside and out. The last school break we had I f’d up. Bad; I let it all slide (’cause it’s vacation right?) and held up no expectations. This week I was committed, and solidly expected everyone – me included – to step up. And EVERYONE did. Everyone and then some. Most of the mornings Thor came out of his room and without changing (because it’s vaca, ya just get to wear jammies) went down to do his contribution, and then sometimes helped Talula remember, and sometimes even helped her. It was truly magical.

I had to push Thor over to the other side – had to get him through his gauntlet of “I don’t knooooow”s, and it was uncomfortable, truly. But the other side is sooooo worth the struggle, I can’t express. On top of all this – or possibly the former was a result of this: we got to celebrate a roadmap. I came to the end of a good roadmap and I decided to break out dessert to celebrate – we all love dessert, and I don’t make it often – entirely because I adore dessert (there is always room for dessert) and I have NO self-control. So we had dessert one day after lunch and I talked about how I noticed how hard Thor had been working on getting out the door to school these days. I swear, the next day was entirely drama free and in general he has been stepping up, taking the lead ever since and I have seen Talula follow his example. So I guess as I write, I don’t know which came first, the chicken or the egg; but we’re reaping the rewards and having eggs for breakfast and roast chicken for dinner.

It. feels. so. good.

Thank you V.

The sounds of this morning… April 19, 2010

Were like music to my ears. It’s vacation week here, and it is my goal to firmly follow my roadmap this week. The last time we had a school vacation I got lazy and let all the hard work everybody had been doing slide and we had to start all over.

So this morning TnT woke early as usual and I hear one of them go into the washroom and then head downstairs; a few minutes later I heard the tinkling of the dishes in the dishwasher. Hmmmm…could it be? Thor’s contribution this week is the kitchen and per my roadmap I asked him what he thought a clean kitchen looked like. After much drama and a bunch of “I don’t know”s and some more questions from me to make sure he understood what I was asking he said “nothing on the counter”. Fine. Great starting point. And then this morning happened and I was lying in bed thinking “is he unloading the dishwasher?” How cool. Then he came back upstairs and by this point Talula had come out of her room and he asked her “have you done your contribution? No? OK, let’s do it.” Did I mention it was 6 o’clock in the morning and their Dad and I were still in bed? I almost fell out of bed. So then they proceeded to clean the upstairs bathroom – ok, so it just meant spraying cleaning stuff everywhere and rubbing it a bit with a sponge. But how awesome is it that this was how they started their day. I have been firmly following my plan for 6 DAYS and this is where we are already?!!! Wahooooooo! Granted, it’s not like I haven’t made attempts at this before, so it’s not completely coming out of left field for them, but really, how cool is this? Such a cool thing. No drama, no being angry because it’s vacation and I’m having a battle over what they need to do before we get to go do fun things. Yummy.

Another change I’ve noticed is the decreased number of times that Thor goes to the “I don’t know” card. The other day I asked him something inane like “do you want to take a shower before dinner or before family meeting”. He opened his mouth and I heard the words “I don’t….” trickle out of his mouth and then he stopped, I looked at him out of the corner of my eye with a grin, and he said “before family meeting”. Love him. He’s working so hard.

What is going on in this house?! March 24, 2010

Thor just asked if he could do his contribution again! THIS time the words that came out of my mouth were “ok”.

AND THEN Thor stayed right on track with his remembery board. I think he even may have remembered without looking at the board what was next after he was finished with one task. I am speechless and cheering on the inside. If I could do one of those crazy leg over the head kicks, I’d be doing one of those too. Really I’m just signing the Lionel Richie’s “Celebration” song in my head. Yes, I was a teenager in the 80s.

Now they are talking about sleeping together; and first they had it all worked out who was going to sleep where and for how long and then all of a sudden Talula said “I want to sleep in my own bed” and Thors’ simple reaction was “ok”.

AND THEN Talula went down stairs to get Thor a bowl of Cheerios to keep in his room in case he got hungry.

It has been a good night. An incredible night. Wow.

I appreciate… March 9, 2010

Family meetings.
I first took Vicki’s class when my son was about 3 months shy of his 3rd birthday and my daughter was 4 weeks old. I went to the class by myself and I asked my husband if he would go to her next class – he agreed. So we waited to start the fam meetings until he reached that point in the class. By the time we started Thor had just turned 3; we’ve now being doing them for 3 years and I’m taking this week of MomTV to look back at our journals.

So here are some excerpts from appreciations (my husband and I are the only note takers at this point; we only keep notes on TnT’s appreciations – not the appreciations from the adults -and I use that term loosely in reference to me and my husband).

Dec 11, 2006 (First meeting EVER)

Thor: I appreciate Daddy helping in the kitchen, I appreciate Mummy cooking dinner, I appreciate Talula talking to me (remember she was 4 months old).

Feb 26, 2007

Thor: Mummy I appreciate you giving Talula’s toys to her. Talula I appreciate you grabbing some of your toys. Daddy I appreciate you sitting in that chair (!!!!so awesome)

Jan 7, 2008

Thor: Daddy I appreciate you staying outside with me when Talula and Mum went inside. Mum I appreciate you going inside with Talula when I put snow on her head.

Aug 28, 2008

Thor: Daddy I appreciate you staying home with Talula. Mummy I appreciate you offering for me and my friends in our car to the hotel. Talula I appreciate you staying home with Daddy.

Talula(!!): I love you Daddy, I love you Mummy, I love you Thor.

Dec 2, 2008

Thor: I appreciate you taking me out to ski, Talula I appreciate you coming to my school. Mum I appreciate you picking me up.

Talula: Mum I appreciate Thanksgiving. Daddy thanks. Gus thanksgiving for letting me come to your school.

Aug 31, 2009

Talula: Mumma I appreciate you helping me clean my room. Thor I appreciate you getting the painting things for me. Daddy I appreciate you help Gus clean his room.

Thor: Mummy I appreciate you taking me to school today, Daddy I appreciate you letting me drive the big white speed boat in the lake. Talula I appreciate when we in Temagami you not bothering me on the steering wheel.

Mar 8, 2010 (just yesterday)

Thor: Talula I appreciate you sharing part of your cupcake with me. Daddy I appreciate you going skiing with me, Mummy I appreciate you playing a playdate with my friend.

Talula: Mummy I appreciate you helping me pack my backpack, Thor I appreciate you asking for the ring back, Daddy I appreciate you doing the dishes for me.

I am making my own toast March 7, 2010

And there is even a toast making song. It goes something like this;
“I am making my own toast, my own toast, my own toooast. I am maaaaaking my own toast, own toast, own toast. I am making my own toast, my own tooooast, my own toast-ta-toast. I am making my. Own. ToOOOast.”

I want to scream!!!!! February 22, 2010

That’s how I felt 15 minutes ago. We were trying to get out of the house to head to the play ground and we hit a snag. It’s the first day of vacation, and in my head I was screaming and I had already decided the whole week was ruined.

Then my oldest monkey started problem solving and it nearly brought me to tears.

Here’s the story. We were leaving the house, which meant the bucket had to go on my dog’s head. That’s right, I said I had to put the bucket on her head. She had an encounter with the metal edge of a tele-ski and now has staples in her paw. It’s small and she is just fine; and with any luck our thick-headed lab might learn something about chasing ski tips – doubtful though. Anyway, she messes with the staples, so when she’s left alone – on goes the bucket. So I grabbed the beautiful blue plastic bucket, but the rope which holds it on was missing. I have a fairly good idea which tiny fingers were responsible, but I am not placing blame. I simply said that I wasn’t willing to leave her alone to chew on her paw, so the rope needed to be found. We all searched, no one took responsibility. So there was our day, done, and it took me mere minutes to reach that ridiculous conclusion. Then Thor started bringing me things we could use instead. The chain from his ski pass, a little tiny feather boa of Talula’s and then finally a plastic necklace which actually was long enough and did the trick.

So there we left Killie, sporting her blue bucket tied on with a black beaded pirates necklace looking about as mortified as you would expect for someone wearing a bucket. But it’s better than the small satellite dish the vet gives you.

Killie being protected by her Dad from the paparazzi

random updates February 18, 2010

So it occurred to me that maybe it was time to look back at where I started 6 weeks ago with this round of Parenting on Track.

Working from the most recent; “Does my burping bother you?“. It occurred to me the other day that it’s been a while – since there has been a loud obnoxious burp. Not that we’ve been gas-less but the overly loud ones seem to have disappeared, for now anyway.

“I hate this time of the day“. That is still something Thor will say at the end of the day when we go over what is left to be done before bed. BUT this morning he actually asked ME to come look at his remembery board with him – it seems as though it is starting to become a part of his routine and that is awesome!!

“Week three“. Training, training, training. Not my strength. Really not. I do ok with the teaching – I think I get that part – but then I stumble when it’s time to let go of the training and do nothing say nothing again. Then I feel like I have my training wheels back on and I get too scared I’m gonna fall off my and scrape my knee. What say you? Roadmap? Oh yeah right. I’m still behind on that homework (see Round two).

“Family game night“. OMG. What to me so long to do this???? Seriously – I cannot say enough about how fun this has been. I don’t see any momentous decline in the pronouncements of “no fair” from Thor, but it’s just one more way for us all to connect. Besides, there is nothing more fun than rockin the “Chutes & Ladders” board.

“11 bucks“. That was a tough few days, asking my son to cough up some money because he was late for school made me feel like scrooge extraordinaire.  My husband and I did re-visit the pay scale we were using/charging and decided it was harsh – so we lowered to 1$ for every five minutes he was late. But it doesn’t really matter – it hasn’t been an issue, he hasn’t been late since then. He does make a choice every once in a while to pay for an extra hot lunch during the week if the menu is appealing, and that is his choice – he can make lunch too.

“Stick a fork in me, I’m done“. I have recovered and feel the better for it. I’m sure I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it again. I am SO glad I am doing this all over again. I’ve learned new and DIFFERENT things about myself and my family this time around. It’s amazing. This is not a one time program – and it’s not that something new is said when I listen to the program – it’s about what I hear.